Jherog rested the warm cloth on the youngling's swollen eyes in hopes that it would relieve some of the pain and keep the wound clean. He was relieved when he recognized the steady breath of sleep take over her body. Rest would do her some good, he thought. He stood and looked over the great hall. What was usually used for village meetings and gatherings of a social nature, was now over-filled with the aching & maimed bodies of his fellow villagers. The attack had been so sudden and unprovoked. No one had been prepared to fight, not that many in the village knew how. Nothing like this had ever happened before. So many injured, and how many dead, he wondered. He was so deep in thought, that he didn’t even hear or see Jevlyn come to his side, even when she cleared her throat to make herself known. When she finally touched his arm to get his attention, he nearly jumped out of his skin. He tried to laugh it off but must’ve failed as Jevlyn’s eyes were filled with remorse.
”Sorry,” she whispered. ”You looked lost. I just wanted to…”
”It’s fine,” he told her and gave her a small smile. He looked back down at the youngling, still sleeping. ”Has it been done?” Jevlyn nodded and he looked at her. ”How many?”
”Twenty-six,” she said through clenched teeth, her voice dripping with anger. Jherog felt he should be surprised, though unsure if he should be upset at such a great number, or relieved it wasn’t more. ”Twenty-six too many, if you ask me,” she said, as though reading his thoughts. He nodded and hoped she would move on, but she remained at his side. He took a deep breath. How had he become the one to go to about all that had happened and what to do next? He looked down at the youngling once more and then began to move. Jevlyn followed.
As they exited the hall, parents and other villagers were spread sporadically on the grounds, waiting for news of those inside. Upon seeing him, one of them stood and walked toward him. She couldn’t have seen more than eighteen turns, he surmised. Her clothing was torn and dirty. Her left leg was showing through a tear in her leggings, all the way up to her mid-thigh. He nodded, avoided eye contact, and didn’t stop. Her long auburn hair flew behind her as she quickly fell in step with him.
“Jherog,” she started. ”I need news of my brother and sister. Are they badly hurt? I tried to help them, but they insisted I stay behind and hide, and like a coward, I listened. By the time I came out, they were gone. I cannot find them.” Jherog wracked his brain, trying to place the girl. She looked familiar. He should know her name, but he couldn’t seem to pull the information to the forefront of his brain. He looked at Jevlyn who shrugged. ”Please,” she was begging. ”I need to tell them…” Jherog turned to her suddenly, forcing her to stop and look up at him. There was fear in her eyes, but she was working hard to hide it. Her jaw clenched as her hair flew into her face. Her hair, he noted. It looks just like Derina’s, he remembered. Suddenly, he recognized her. She was Derina’s youngest.
”Devra,” he remembered aloud and she nodded. She had two older siblings. Rhosh, a brother, and Daline, a sister. He searched his memory for their faces, hoping he’d seen them in the great hall, but nothing came. He sighed. ”I do not know where your brother and sister are. I’m sorry.” She turned to the great hall, ready to run back, but he grabbed her arm. ”No one is to enter. We need to let healers do their work without disturbance.”
”But I need to…” Tears came to her eyes, glossing over the fear still blazing within them. She took a deep breath, stood taller, and looked back up at Jherog. ”I will not sit idly by and wait. I can be of use. Perhaps I can help…” Jherog turned to Jevlyn.
”Go back to the great hall and ask Farlon if they could use another set of hands.” Jevlyn moved to go but Devra spoke immediately and stopped her.
”I don’t wish to help the healers. I mean… if that’s where I’m needed, I’ll go.” She was being bold, but honest. Jherog admired that.
”How is it you wish to help?” But she didn’t answer. ”Stay with me then, if you wish.” She took a deep breath and nodded. Jherog continued moving toward the back of the village, Jevlyn and Devra in tow.
They walked passed the grove of trees that marked their village limits. They kept walking for some time until he could see it, the twenty-six bodies of the dead piled together. He suddenly worried about Devra. Perhaps allowing her to accompany him hadn’t been the best idea, but when he looked at her, she was already looking at the bodies. The fear was still present in her eyes, but he could see she was determined to continue forward. Fool, he told himself. She’s too young for this. He knew she shouldn’t be forced to see it, but it was also the reality that had been forced upon them. Death was a part of life, and apparently now, so was violence. Perhaps it would be a valuable learning opportunity. As they approached, one of the six men digging beside the pile of bodies stopped and walked over.
”Jherog,” he greeted him, a melancholy to his voice. ”What orders have you now?” Jherog sighed. He didn’t like that he was being tasked with the leadership they so desparately needed. He hoped it would only be temporary.
”Dig a hole six feet deep, twelve feet wide. Fill it with whatever scraps can be burned from the wreckage, then gently lay the bodies atop.” The man nodded. ”When it’s right, we’ll gather the village to light the pyre and say our goodbyes.” The man nodded again and moved to inform the rest of the men of the plan. Jherog turned to Devra. ”You may wish to look for your brother and sister here,” he told her. He couldn’t explain it, but he had a feeling she would find them among the dead. Though her eyes were still consumed with fear, she took a deep breath and nodded. She then moved to the pile of bodies and began scanning with her eyes. Jherog watched and turned to Jevlyn. ”I would like you to stay here. Supervise and support the digging.” Jevlyn nodded and followed his eyes to Devra.
”She’s too young to be dealing with this sort of thing,” she said and Jherog nodded.
”But this is currently our reality. I think sheltering our young from it would be a disservice to both them and the rest of the village,” he explained. Jevlyn nodded. A loud yell sprang from the lips of one of the men digging and she moved without hesitation. Jherog’s eyes remained on Devra and he moved to her side.
She was scanning the pile helplessly, her eyes darting in every direction too quickly to really retain anything. Jherog began to look also. He walked around to the other side of the pile and sure enough, there they were. Rhosh and Daline, his body on top of hers, their eyes wide open, both with the same auburn shade of hair as their mother and little sister. Jherog stepped forward and gently shut their eyes before calling Devra over. When she came around, she saw her siblings immediately. She bit her lower lip and held back tears. Jherog couldn’t help but notice how beautiful she was. Just like her mother. He rested a hand on her shoulder and without hesitation, she let out a quick sob. A part of Jherog hoped she would turn into him for comfort, so that he could feel her body against his, feel the softness of her hair between his fingers, but she didn’t. She remained still, allowing only a few tears to escape from her eyes.
”I’m sure it was quick and painless,” he told her, though he had no way of knowing if it were true. Devra nodded and kept taking deep breaths. ”I’m… sorry…” he stammered, unsure what else to say. Devra nodded again.
”Their deaths will not be in vain,” she said, a hard and desperate quality in her voice. ”None of them will have,” she said. Jherog squeezed her shoulder, but she remained still. She finally turned to him and he let go. ”Those Gigans will pay. Everyone must pay.” The eyes that stared up at him were strong, determined, fierce, and angry. All fear was gone, and no loss or pain was visible. Her small and round face was angled as she clenched her jaw and flared her nostrils in anger. Her green eyes darkened with each passing second. Her auburn hair was being tossed in every direction by a sudden gust of wind. Jherog couldn’t deny how beautiful she looked. The desire to hold her was still strong, but he held himself back. Why now, he wondered. He’d never seen her that way before. He had to break eye contact with her. She was too young for him. Perhaps his emotions were simply stronger than usual because of all that had occurred that day. Perhaps he had a stronger inclination to want to care for others than he ever realized. Or perhaps it was that she looked so much like her mother. “I will stay with and learn from you,” she told him as though it were a command. And somehow, he found himself nodding. Agreeing.
It had been months since the day of the attack and the pyre. The village had spent a few days in mourning, quickly alternating their moods and activities from those in despair, to celebrating the lives of those lost. Shortly thereafter, however, Jherog had insisted the rebuilding and reorganizing commence. Everyone had to work together to restore what they’d lost. Jherog was still in charge. However, after a few weeks, he’d insisted he didn’t want to be. Unfortunately, that had given the villagers more desire for him to remain in power. They came together and announced they wouldn’t follow anyone else, so Jherog had been left with no choice.
He’d placed Jevlyn in charge of selecting, developing, and leading the protectors of the village. No one could be certain another attack wouldn’t come. In fact, most seemed it imperative they focus a great deal on fortifying the village and training as many to fight as possible. All of the villagers were paranoid and believed another attack would be imminent. Jherog wasn’t so certain.
”I don’t know how you can be so aloof about it,” Devra argued with him one evening. She’d barely left his side since the day of the attack. Only recently had he realized she was staying in his home. For some time, he’d always thought she was going home at the end of the night, and then returned in the morning. Until he’d woken up one morning, believing he was alone in his house. He’d entered his kitchen, barely dressed, and she’d come in from the room at the back wearing nothing but one of his large shirts. Startled, he moved to cover himself, blushing. But she hadn’t blushed or seemed surprised at all. She simply ignored him, as he watched her grab a pear from his fruit bowl. His eyes glossed over her body, unsure how to feel about how much skin she was showing. Before he’d had a chance to speak, she’d gone back into her room, slamming the door behind her. He quickly ran back to his room to dress. When he’d come back down, she was seated at the table, a cup of hot water waiting for him as she drank her own. He knew he should’ve mentioned something, but he’d been too nervous. What could he say to her? It made sense she didn’t want to go back to her empty house. Nevertheless, it was inappropriate for her to stay with him. But so much time had passed since the incident, it didn’t seem to make sense to discuss it. Although they weren’t family and he’d seen almost twenty more turns than she, he liked having her around. He’d known her mother. Had always admired her from afar. So, he told himself it would only be awkward. Thankfully, he wasn’t hearing of any rumors or issues among the villagers about their strange arrangement.
”Obviously, the devastation was extensive for our village. But I’m not certain the Gigans are aware of what they did. At least, I don’t believe it was all Gigans that attacked us. Just a random select few,” he explained to her.
”Really? A random select few?” He nodded. ”And even so, what if it was? Are we just to leave them? No punishment for their actions? For the devastation they’ve caused?” Jherog didn’t know how to respond. He could tell her emotions were leading her more than anything. He hadn’t any family and so hadn’t lost anyone, but he could imagine her pain. However, he was trying to keep a level and diplomatic head about it.
”I understand your feelings on the matter, Devra. Truly. But I need to think about the big picture. I am responsible for the entire village and all who live in it. I’m not about to declare war on the Gigans.” Across the table from him, with only bones remaining on her plate, Devra clenched her jaw and looked away from him. She crossed her arms and shook her head. Seeing her upset hurt him. Though she’d recovered well after the day of discovering her brother and sister dead, keeping busy with helping the village, and training with Jevlyn, he could still see and feel her anger and hurt every day. She worked hard to hide it, and succeeded most of the time. But every once in a while, he would catch her alone, staring off into nothing, a lost look in her green eyes, filled with pain and anger.
”The people of this village deserve…”
”What? Revenge?” Jherog interrupted her and she looked at him. She sighed and collected their plates from the table. She threw them onto the counter and let out a strange growl. Jherog wanted to stand and go to her. To comfort her. But he’d held himself back this entire time and wasn’t about to change that. He’d grown to care for her. And while he found her beautiful, he was sure his care for her was similar to that of a father. He wanted to protect her. They’d had this conversation numerous times already. And each time, she would get emotional, he would calm her and help her to see reason. ”I know this is difficult for you, Devra. I know you’re one of the few who lost so much.” He paused, but her back remained to him. ”I wish I could do something to change that. I wish I could help you. But it’s done. Rhosh and Delina are gone. And fighting or killing Gigans, or anyone else, will not bring them back.” This was the first time he’d been so honest with her. In the past, he’d always been softer. Promising her things would get better over time. And typically, she would calm down, smile, and thank him. But this time, she wasn’t moving. She stayed at the counter, her back to him. Still. Quiet. ”Devra?” He wanted to ensure she was still listening. However, she remained still. He slowly rose from his seat and moved toward her. ”I… I don’t know what to say anymore,” he confided. ”Clearly, you’re hurting.” He thought he saw her shoulders move and was about to speak again when she turned into him. She moved so fast he hadn’t time to react. She gripped his body so tightly in her arms, that he didn’t think he’d be able to pry her off of him. Nor did he want to. It felt nice. He slowly lowered his arms around her body and held her to him. She was shaking. She was sobbing. He squeezed her and sighed. ”I’m so sorry, Devra.”
He stood still and tall, holding her, feeling her pain and wishing he could absorb it for her, make it disappear completely. When she finally loosened her grip on him, he felt a pang of loss. But remembering his place, he loosened his as well. She finally pulled her head away from his chest, tears still streaming down her cheeks. Smiling, he grabbed a cloth from the counter and held it to her face. He gently wiped the tears away as she looked up at him. Her green eyes seemed darker than usual but were still alluring. She gave a small laugh as he finished wiping her face and threw the cloth back onto the counter, making a joking face of disgust.
”Thank you,” she whispered, still looking up at him. He smiled and placed his hands on her shoulders.
”I’ll always be here for you, Devra,” he promised. ”Always.” He thought he saw a quick and strange flicker of light in her eyes when she suddenly lunged at him. Her lips were on his, her arms around his neck. At first, Jherog couldn’t help it, he couldn’t resist. Without thinking, he took her in his arms and returned her kiss. His lips parted hers with his tongue ever so gently, and his legs turned to jelly when he felt her tongue up against his. She seemed to hesitate for only a second but then gave in also. Soon, she moaned and it brought him back to reality. He quickly pushed her away, keeping her at arm's length, his hands on her waist. ”I’m sorry,” he said, his eyes on the floor. ”I can‘t.” He removed his hands from her hips and took a gentle step back. He desperately didn’t want to meet her eyes, but knew he had to. She looked confused and hurt.
”It’s ok,” she said, moving toward him. But he stepped back again, slowly shaking his head, no.
”I can’t,” he repeated. He was afraid she would ask why. Or perhaps she’d yell at him. Accuse him of making her do it. But, she didn’t. She simply took a deep breath and nodded. He slowly moved to the other side of the room, and then looked back at her again. She was so beautiful. She looked so much like her mother. Thinking of Derina, an image of her face entered his mind. Her smile, her light blue eyes. She’d be so angry with him were she alive to find out. How had he let that happen? He clenched his jaw, angry with himself. ”I should go,” he blurted before thinking.
”Go?” she asked and he nodded.
”Jevlyn is expecting me. We need to review the final plans for the… remainder of the village wall.” It wasn’t true. Jevlyn was likely at home. But he needed to get away from there. He needed space from Devra. He looked at her and she nodded and smiled. He walked to the front door and pulled on his cloak. When his hand reached the doorknob, she spoke.
”Actually, I’ve been meaning to tell you. I’m leaving tomorrow.” He stopped but didn’t turn, wanting to hide his surprise and sadness.
”Leaving?” he asked, hoping his voice didn’t betray him.
”Yes. I’ve been thinking a lot about the loss I’ve suffered.” Jherog turned to look at her. Her face was calm, her body still. ”My mother‘s sister lives in Linden.” She paused. ”I think I’ll go and visit her for a while. Being around family could be good.” Jherog nodded.
”I think that’s a great idea,” he smiled at her, though he was terrified of her leaving for good.
”Ok then, I’ll leave at first light.”
”I’ll acquire you a horse.” They stood staring at each other for much longer than necessary until he finally broke eye contact and cleared his throat. “Take whatever you need from here. For this is your home now too.” She nodded in thanks, then turned and walked into her room, closing the door behind her. He stood staring at the door for what felt like hours, unsure what to do next. A part of him hoped she’d come running back out into his arms, but he knew it to be foolish. What was it he wanted? He thought he heard her door open again, but it didn’t move. He sighed, and finally turned and walked out the door. The brutal winter wind cleared the tears from his cheeks, turning them to ice that smashed as they hit the cobblestoned path.
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Ⓒ November 2022. Beki Lantos. All Rights Reserved. No part of this publication may be reproduced, or transmitted in any form by any means without prior written permission of the author.