Rule #6

Sleep not when others speak.

A surprisingly modern rule, even if Washington never endured a group chat. But, the rule is pretty straightforward.

Which, in fairness, was probably easier to follow in 1740 when nobody had notifications popping up every 11 seconds and no one’s sister was sending minion memes at two in the morning.

In the 1700’s, this probably meant don’t literally nod off in church.

In 2025, it means try not to mentally wander off into an existential daydream about whether raccoons understand sarcasm.

But the rule still holds up beautifully today. Especially because half the time we aren’t literally sleeping while others speak - we’re just…spiritually napping.

You know the feeling.

Someone is mid-story and suddenly your brain is like, “I wonder if giraffes have anxiety.” And off you go…

Either way, the spirit of the rule holds: Be present. Be awake. Be in the room where life is happening.

And in a world this politically charged, algorithmically divided, and educationally… let’s call it selective, the ability to stay awake while someone speaks is practically an ovation nowadays.

Listening Isn’t Just Polite - It’s a Superpower in a Divisive World.

We all know society feels tense right now. The political climate has the vibes of a family dinner where everyone quietly agrees not to bring up certain topics… then someone does, and suddenly even the turkey is sweating.

People aren’t just disagreeing - they’re not listening.

We go into conversations armed like gladiators, ready to win a point rather than understand a person. We scroll through social media like it’s a buffet of outrage. We mistake algorithm repetition for critical thinking.

And somewhere in this mess, Washington gently taps us on the shoulder and says:

”Hey… wake up. Someone is talking.”

It’s simple. It’s old-fashioned. It’s oddly revolutionary.

Education Taught Us Many Things.

But It Didn’t Teach Us to Listen Well.

We were taught how to take notes.

We were taught how to regurgitate information.

We were taught how to pass tests.

We were not taught how to hold nuance, sit with discomfort, or listen to someone whose worldview could not be summarized in a bullet point.

Honestly, listening might be the least indoctrinated thing we have left.

And ironically, when you truly listen, you immediately exit the “programmed response zone.” You start thinking, evaluating, connecting the dots. You start noticing when someone’s argument is actually a feeling wearing a hat.

You become an independent thinker - not because you shout the loudest, but because you hear the most.

When we were young, this rule wasn’t taught as an invitation to connection - it was taught as a warning.

”Pay attention or you’re being rude.”

”Pay attention or you’ll get in trouble.”

”Pay attention or you’ll embarrass yourself.”

”Pay attention because adults know more than you.”

Listening became tied to shame, obedience, fear, and external approval.

It wasn’t about curiosity or empathy.

It certainly wasn’t about self-agency.

The original teaching of the rule failed the rule.

Because the moment listening is framed as a moral failing or a test of worthiness, our nervous systems learn to tune out to protect us.

Shame does not teach listening.

Shame teaches avoidance.

So How Do We Reinterpret This Rule Without Shame?

We shift it from obedience to empowerment.

Instead of: You must listen because you’re supposed to.

We teach: You get to listen because it makes you wiser, calmer, kinder, harder to manipulate, and more connected.

Instead of: Listening is about respecting authority.

We teach: Listening is about respecting humanity - including your own.

Instead of: Pay attention so you don’t mess up.

We teach: Pay attention so you can understand the world clearly enough to think for yourself.

And perhaps, most importantly: We separate listening from agreeing.

Kids, teens, adults - everyone needs to know: You can listen deeply and still say, “Nope, not my belief.” Listening is presence, not surrender.

Listening Doesn’t Mean Agreeing

(Thank goodness).

There’s a huge misconception that listening equals approval.

No.

If that were true, toddlers would be running the planet.

Listening simply means: “I’m awake enough to consider your words, even if I don’t adopt them as my own.”

It’s an act of curiosity, not submission.

And curiosity is an antidote to division.

Our Modern Rewrite of Washington’s Rule #6

If George Washington were alive today (and navigating comment sections), the rule would probably sound something like:

Try not to zone out when someone is speaking - especially if

they don’t sound like your echo.

This isn’t about guilt.

It’s not about becoming a perfect listener (those people don’t exist).

It’s about interrupting the cultural autopilot long enough to really connect.

Listening Is Empowering Because It Give You Back Your Power

When you choose to actually listen:

• you stop reaction and start responding

• you become harder to manipulate

• you gain clarity instead of confusion

• you understand people rather than caricatures

• you become someone others trust (and trustworthiness is magnetic)

Listening is not passive.

It is not submissive.

It is not shrinking.

It’s one of the strongest, most grounding acts of self-leadership.

A Gentle Invitation for Today

So maybe today, pick one moment where you’d normally mentally check out - and stay awake a little longer. Not because you owe it to anyone. But because it’s actually as gift you give yourself.

The gift of being present.

The gift of growing wiser.

The first of staying human in a world that’s half-asleep.

Washington might one have imagined our modern chaos, but his advice still nudges us lovingly toward something real:

Wake up.

Listen.

And watch how everything shifts.

Ⓒ November 2025. Beki Lantos. All Rights Reserved. No part of this publication may be reproduced, or transmitted in any form by any means without prior written permission of the author.